From: prisonerofGISHWHESboattower <email@example.com> To:“███ ██████" <████████████████████> Sent:█████████,██ August 2012, ██:██DM
Subject: Re: Hola Chickadoodle…
I am thrilled you are sending super secret porcupines my way, but unless you trained them in ‘How to Take Out Gnomes Wearing Misha Masks 101’ I’m afraid they won’t get very far. The gnomes are vicious. They make me cry.
Anything prisonerofgishwhesboattower writes in this email has not been approved or sanctioned by GISHWHES or any souls in Conglomerated Ubiquitous Multinational, LLC. Prisonerofgishwhesboattower is not a representative, employee or pet of GISHWHES and is not responsible for any psychological, physical, emotional or metaphysical damages incurred by the content of these emails. Prisonerofgishwhesboattower is simply a prisoner in GISHWHES’s boattower. If there were one. Is there one? I don’t know. There could be one somewhere like in a parallel universe or something. Oh right. That makes sense. For questions on this disclaimer contact Prisonerofgishwhesboattower@gishwhes.com. Green apples are best under cotton. Good night.
From: ”███ ██████" <████████████████████> To: firstname.lastname@example.org Sent: █████████, August ██, 2012 ██:██ BM
Subject: Hola Chickadoodle…
Are they feeding you properly my dear?
Fear not! I’ve a well trained army of SUPER SECRET PORCUPINES scaling the walls of the Gishwish boat tower as we speak, their backs have been well stocked with cheeses of many flavours and pineapple of just one. They should be with you soon buuuuut… In the highly likely scenario that they just eat the foodstuffs off of each others backs before collapsing into pineapple induced sugar comas; I should probably wish you luck with the whole starvation thing and advise you do as the Gishbot demands for your own safety!